A contribution from Gerald Hagler, Author & Self-Healing Mentor

The central Ideas from this article:

• The desire to get through life without any emotional injuries is understandable, but unrealistic. We all have to cope with it in one form or another.
• Anger and thoughts of revenge permanently affect the body chemistry.
• Emotional injuries can be released, even if the perpetrator shows no remorse or is already deceased.
• The ability to forgive can be trained.
• There are a number of rituals that enable the letting go of unpleasant memories. One of the best known is Ho'oponopono, which comes from millennia-old Hawaiian traditions and is still practiced today.
• The idea that the person who hurt me couldn't help it because they are "emotionally disabled" can be extremely helpful. You would also not blame someone who is in a wheelchair for not being able to prevent the fire on the second floor.

"Anger has its reasons, but rarely a good one."

Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard's Almanac

The science of letting go

The American psychiatrist Dr. Robert Enright is something like the guru of forgiveness. He founded the "International Forgiveness Institute" as early as 1985 and is the author of numerous studies as well as the book "Forgiveness as an Opportunity".

The bottom line from Enright's work is:

Forgiveness is good for your health.

If you are in an ideal state of health, your cortisol and all other blood values are inconspicuous, i.e. in the green zone. All these parameters are negatively influenced by holding on to resentment, anger and thoughts of revenge, among other things. You then easily get into a whirlpool of bitterness, reproaches, remorse, depression, insomnia, brooding and physical malaise, etc. In short, you feel trapped in a victim attitude.

The first step in a successful forgiveness process, according to Enright, is to make a conscious decision to break out of that victim role. Only when it is recognized that the anger, thoughts of revenge, bitterness, and all the other negative emotions are merely deeper in the own emotional abyss, a transformation can be initiated. The energy required for this can be considerable, but the crucial point is: as soon as the decision is made to want to withdraw the radiance from the hurtful event step by step into the present, the healing process begins.

Through the act of forgiveness, we decide to stop wasting life energy on an event that is in the past and therefore unchangeable. We therefore have no choice but to change our attitude toward that event. We can remain obsessed with the injustice that occurred, or we can free ourselves by detaching ourselves from the event and all its implications on the present.

Dr. Fred Luskin, who also does scientific research on forgiveness, has found in numerous experiments, among other things, that forgiveness work lowers blood pressure, especially in people who report being easily or often angry.

"The forgiveness process is not therapy, but a skill that can be trained."

Dr. Fred Luskin

According to Luskin, it helps to move away from the idea that we have a right to get through life without the slightest emotional scrape. This is unrealistic, he says; rather, all people will suffer injuries in one form or another throughout their lives. Therefore, he said, it is wise to focus on how to stay mentally balanced despite all the injustice out there.

Here are the main steps of forgiveness according to Fred Luskin:

1. become aware of your feelings. What exactly felt hurtful? Talk about it with people you trust.

2. you do the forgiveness work for yourself alone - for no one else. Write down what steps are necessary for this.

3. Do not expect reconciliation. What you are looking for is the feeling of having put an event behind you and made peace with it.

4. the pain is mostly triggered by the mere thought of the injury and not by the event itself, which usually happened longer ago. And one's own thoughts are subject to conscious control.

5. learn to relax actively and consciously, for example via deep breathing.

Focus on what you can influence directly. Stop expecting actions from others that they are not willing to perform. Only your reactions and thoughts can be influenced, not those of others.

7. Look ahead. Instead of giving the pain space again and again and thereby giving the abuser power over you, seek the presence of positive people and devote yourself to uplifting activities. There is plenty of love, beauty and warmth out there. Open your eyes to it.

"Forget anger and revenge and move on."

- Christopher Matthews

Clemens Kuby, filmmaker, author and inventor of the method of "rewriting" recommends to reformulate a hurtful event in writing in such a way that all negative elements are removed and thus it becomes a neutral memory. You can find the details in his book "Mental Healing".

Kurt Tepperwein's recommendation on hurtful events also goes in this direction:

"The past is gone forever. By mentally re-experiencing, I remove the possibility of a painful experience having a negative effect on the present. All that needs to be done is to mentally replay this re-experienced situation over and over again until the old one is overwritten. This doesn't change the event, but it does change the way it affects me today."

This technique of mental reshaping is also found in ancient traditions. In the following, I will describe two of them in more detail:

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Ho'oponopono - tradition, new age hype or profiteering?

The reason the subject caught my attention and thus found its way into this book is a fantastic-seeming story about a Hawaiian psychologist named Dr. Ihaleakala Stanley Hun Len, who is said to have performed a small miracle with the help of Ho'oponopono.

Dr. Len was employed as a psychologist in a prison for mentally disturbed offenders. In the ward he was in charge of, there were 24 inmates. They often had to be restrained and sedated, otherwise they were unpredictable and dangerous. The department was not exactly what one would think of as a dream workplace. After Dr. Len had worked there for three years, all inmates were supposedly released as cured and the department was closed.

Dr. Len explained that he had achieved this through the application of Ho'oponopono, and without having to personally consult a single patient. Hunched over the medical records, he merely repeated the following mantra day after day for three years:

Dr. Len assumes that a person is 100 percent responsible for everything they experience, including the negative actions, emotions, and suffering of others.

With his mantra, it would be possible to heal not only these associated own negative feelings, but also the people involved in them. So if one would repeat the mantra continuously and honestly feel the thoughts contained in it, it could succeed in making the (own) world a better place.

The success comes from the fact that everything is one, so that a feeling that I heal in me also heals the person who has triggered this feeling in me.

Despite extensive research, I have not been able to locate a report by any of the inmates or other prison staff at the time that attests to these claims. Nor has Dr. Len or any of his successors and students ever repeated his alleged success elsewhere. For me personally, breakthrough discoveries only become credible when they can be replicated.

In addition, the only contemporary witnesses from that time who have spoken out publicly are rather skeptical about the truth of Dr. Len's story.

If one only superficially deals with the subject, one can get the impression that the Len mantra is to be equated with the "Ho'oponopono" technique. But even if this is spread over and over again, it does not make the matter any truer.

The history of the development of modern Ho'oponopono is based on the work of Morrnah Simeona and began in the late 1970s. After her death, one or the other of Simeona's companions tried to monetize her teaching under an exclusive brand in the form of books, but above all seminars. One of them, Dr. Len, I had already mentioned.

Among themselves, practically all of these people are bitter enemies and publicly doubt the legitimacy, sometimes even the truthfulness of the statements of their competitors. On their websites you can find prominent and partly adventurous warnings to use the Ho'oponopono contents, which one claims exclusively for oneself, in any way. In general, only what one teaches oneself is to be called the real Ho'oponopono.

The aforementioned prison story of Dr. Len and his quatrain was published as a book almost 15 years later by American New Age author Joe Vitale, who calls himself the "Buddha of the Internet," under the title "Zero Limits."

This was translated into several languages and sold hundreds of thousands of copies. Shortly after, seminars and workshops around Ho'oponopono and the Len Mantra were offered in many countries.

A German provider of Ho'oponopono workshops points out right at the first contact that the publicly available original versions are missing an essential element, which is only talked about in their own workshops. Moreover, "bad karma" would come over anyone who would adopt online available information of Ho'oponopono according to Morrnah Simeona.

Of course, it is up to everyone to form their own opinion about this. Personally, however, I think this is a rather strange way to present oneself as a 'professional' in the subject areas of spirituality, healing and forgiveness.

Should you experience an increase in your quality of life by practicing the Len Mantra, I do not want to discourage you in any way from (continuing to) use it. You should only be aware that this approach - even if it is mentioned in countless websites, blogs and Youtube videos - has hardly anything to do with the original idea of Ho'oponopono.

The real Ho'oponopono - then & now

Ho'oponopono means "to rectify or reconcile something." It is a centuries-old form of mediation practiced on the islands of Hawaii. It was assumed that inner disharmonies always manifest themselves on the outside and can thus disturb an individual body, but also a whole community.

The goal is to prevent or resolve impending or already manifested problems, including diseases.

It is noteworthy that Hawaiian courts still prescribe the Ho'oponopono process for some cases today in order to reach out-of-court settlements.

It was originally a process in the course of which members of a group - usually a family - came together. The mediator, called haku in Hawaiian, was traditionally a respected elder.

Today, there are separate trainings for the Haku, so that it is also possible to use an outside person as a mediator. Before the actual meeting, the Haku prays. Among other things, he calls on deceased ancestors to attend and support the process and, if necessary, to let go of their influence on the event.

During Ho'oponopono it is necessary to be 100% honest and have a solution in mind as the goal of the whole. It is not allowed to become emotional or loud. If this happens, the session is interrupted and the participants are given time to come back to their center. This is supported with breathing exercises and certain rituals, among other things.

The haku has the task of identifying and addressing even hidden, unconscious aspects of the problem - everything must be put on the table in front of the whole group. The goal of Ho'oponopono is that in the end the conflicting parties sincerely forgive each other - not just in one direction. This may now proceed in a decidedly emotional way. When everyone feels that the problem has been solved, it is decided not to bring it up again. A joint meal forms the end of the traditional Ho'oponopono.

The whole process was characterized by very rigid rules and procedures. For example, each of the invited persons had to keep the entire time scheduled for Ho'oponopono free, were not allowed to leave the meeting under any circumstances, and were thus often completely occupied for several days and sometimes even weeks.

Ho'oponopono - how it really works

Beginning in the 1970s, Morrnah Simeona (1913 - 1992), a recognized kahuna (a kahuna is a type of shaman who "heals with words") further developed the Ho'oponopono process so that it could be used alone.

Morrnah Simeona was originally an expert in traditional Hawaiian Lomi Lomi massage, which she practiced in various luxury hotels in Hawaii. She was a modest but cosmopolitan woman who also studied Christian, Indian and Chinese philosophy intensively. The combination of Hawaiian tradition and a divine creator, as well as the incorporation of rebirth and karma into various problems, resulted in a rather unique self-healing process centered on the dissolution of negative entanglements. The act of forgiveness and letting go plays the main role in this process.

Hawaiian traditionalists noted that true Ho'oponopono was a group process, so their version no longer deserved the name.

However, if one compares the original and Simonea's version of Ho'oponopono in detail, one finds that the essential elements are present in both, namely the will to balance a disharmony, sincere forgiveness, and finally the letting go of the issue.

Simeona's revolutionary idea is that the person carrying out the process can also slip into the role of the other party and from there carry out the necessary steps. She has thus turned a complex group process into a psycho-spiritual self-help method.

The solution of problems and the healing of diseases became possible without being bound to the rigid rules or the assembly of certain parties, as the traditional version demands.

However, with 14 steps it is still a complex and time-consuming process, and the sometimes bumpy translation from Hawaiian into English does not make it easier to understand. In practice, therefore, usually only the 3 central elements are executed.

On Youtube you can find the Main part of the Ho'oponopono ritual. The entire process (with the additional levels "Justice" and "Joy returns") stands here available for download for a few euros.

The 3 central elements of Ho'oponopono 

First element:

Preparatory prayer addressed to the divine power (or superconsciousness).

Goal: forgiveness of past or karmic guilt

"Divine Creator, if I, my relatives or ancestors. DI have ever offended or offended by thought, word or deed, please forgive us now. CleanI will dissolve and cut through all the unwanted energies that we have created, accumulated or allowed since the beginning of time. Please transform all unwanted energy into pure light. We are now liberated. And it is done!"

At the utterance of "And it is finished," the willing of the person ceases and the working of the divine power begins.

Second element:

The disputants face each other in a benevolent atmosphere. The goal is to dissolve all negativity through mutual forgiveness, simply taking on the role of the other person themselves.

Part A: I ask for forgiveness and dissolution of all negativity

"If I (insert your own name here)my relatives or ancestors to you, (here the name of the person with whom there is a conflict einfügen) If you have ever wronged me through thought, word or deed, I humbly ask you to forgive me: Please forgive me for all wrongs, offenses, Sentencingen, rejections and guilt, I have created, accumulated, or permitted from the beginning of time to this day."

Part B: I forgive others. All the wrongs I have experienced are resolved.

"Yes, I forgive you! Make the water of life release us from all spiritual, mental, material, financial and karmic entanglements. May all unwanted and negative memories be erased from our memory and all blockages of the past be dissolved. All negative energy is hereby purified and transformed into pure light. Pure, divine light now flows where there was pain before, and dissolves everything unwanted. Hereby we manifest divine order, light, love, peace, balance, wisdom, understanding and abundance. We are liberated. And it is accomplished."

If you have completed part A and part B, then you now slip into the role of the other party and play out both parts again their View through.

Healing and problem solving occurs through the subconscious of all parties involved.

Note: Instead of another person, a place, object or situation that needs healing can be used. So, for example, the prayer could also be

• be directed to a part of the body,
• or to a deity
• help to release unreleased, earthbound souls into the light
• Resolve any kind of trauma
• Resolve financial bottlenecks

Third element:

Detachment. The issue is considered settled and can now be let go:

"Divine Creator, I, my relatives and ancestors now detach ourselves from the subject that has just been cleansed and healed, as well as from all those involved in it. That all entanglements may be severed. We are free. And it is done."

If you are interested in the original version with all 14 steps of Morrnah Simeona, you can find it via a Google search (in English).

The Taoist Forgiveness Ritual

However, I would also like to introduce a somewhat simpler alternative to Ho'oponopono:

In Taoist philosophy, it is important for the student to be able to transform his "Dull Mind" into "Bright Mind".

Assume responsibility 

In order to transform the spiritual energy, the student must consciously choose to be responsible for all his actions, as well as omissions. This is indispensable if all energetic connections to an incisive life situation of the student are to be cut.

Test past

Through a simple mental exercise, you can determine if any of the "old stories" of your past are still active and negatively impacting your present, consuming precious life energy.

Bring a situation that has hurt or traumatized you in the past before your mental movie screen. Play the movie and begin to talk about it. If certain emotional patterns occur in your body now, which are usually good to hear in your voice and read in your face, this story is still sucking valuable energy.

Cut the energetic connection to an event

Taoism knows three bodies, the physical, the mental and the spiritual body. To resolve a negative event once and for all, the energetic connection to it must be dissolved in all three energy bodies. This is done through the following steps:

Forgive yourself:

First of all, let go of all mental and emotional accusations that revolve around your own fault. Typically, these are recurring autosuggestions that begin with "If only I had...".

They now vow to let go of any remorse and self-accusation regarding the history in question.

Forgive the situation:

Next, let go of any attachments to guilt and blame that are still energetically connected to the "situation," that is, the circumstances that surrounded the event.

Forgive the offender:

Now let go of all charges, accusations and accusations against other people involved. Remember that every person always acts with the conviction that they are doing the right thing at that very moment. When you are dealing with an "emotionally challenged" person, it becomes clear that a fair, just, and humane response was not and cannot be expected. Forgive regardless of any surrounding circumstances, because in the end you are doing it for your own peace of mind and health.

Forgive God:

Release God, or whatever you call divine source, from his "responsibility" to keep mischief away from you. We learn exclusively by experiencing, living through and transforming negative circumstances. With your mind you cannot comprehend the life tasks assigned to you and the resulting events.

Understanding and gratitude for the lessons learned:

Once the student can truly forgive, he will free himself from the "history" that caused the trauma and be able to feel genuine gratitude for the experience and the valuable lessons he has learned. This "awakened state" transforms the dark spiritual energy (Yin Shen) surrounding the old memories into bright spiritual energy (Yang Shen), which can then be cultivated and refined as spiritual energy (Ling Qi) and spiritual mind (Ling Shen).

Derived from the method Techniques to support healing:

• Perform your favorite forgiveness ritual until all anger and resentment are gone and hurtful events thus no longer have any radiance on your life in the here and now.
• Keep in mind that there are also "emotionally challenged" people from whom insight, remorse, or willingness to reconcile cannot be expected. 

22 Self Healing Tips

How you promote SELF HEALING. Distilled from the book "How Self-Healing Works".

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